Deep inside my heart ...
I have been married for 4 years. My hubby is a loving, caring person, that in short I can say he is PERFECT hubby … for me la … he love me unconditionally, pamper me and spoilt me :P .After married, we move in to live with my hubby family, which consist of his brother’s family with 2 children, his sister whom already divorced, my mother in law and father in law and 2 maids … as at the time we could not afford to buy our own house and with da baby coming along we are better to save more for the baby expences …
So u can see how big da family is … at 1st can say no problem … coz that time I m to naive to know wat problem may arise … oh silly me … problem start to arise, well not to say problem la but then da true self or the true color of each family member is like slowly showing … they argue … yes they argue a lot and sometimes it got into very heated argument nearly fight … argue between my hubby’s brother with his wife, brother with sister, brother with mother in law, sister with mother in law … I was too shocked to say anything when this thing happen … in my mind was like I tot all this only happen in Tv drama (that’s y I say I m juz so naïve) but then it happen in real life n is infront of my eyes … all I ever did was grab my baby and run to my room and cry … I m too frightened, speechless … my hubby knew someday I would witness all this and he say sorry for bringing me into this and let me see all this incident … I m juz to afraid to say anything … but my hubby love towards me & my love for my hubby have somehow overcome the fear that I have inside me … for my hubby is my world … I cannot imagine my life without him …
As time goes by, I am now adapt well with the environment and knew wat should be done … should there be anything arise … I wanted to move out so much till to da extend that I even dreamt about it day and nite … I m goin cuckoo soon … with my 2nd princess on da way (very soon as I m already 35 weeks pregnant liao) we know that the room is juz to small to fit in all of us …
My hubby and myself wanted our very own house so much … we are now searching high n low for the suitable house … should we get a landed property or a condominium but … yes but we wont be moving in … if we were to move in also we will be bringing along MIL and FIL yes … then wat’s da point of moving out leh … no point right … we both know very well that we could not afford the living expences and this would be a burden for both of us … as FIL now is very sick and bedridden … every day my MIL would scold FIL. Till my hubby :( and sien with life … he have no mood to work and juz keep on thinking y is his family like this … where MIL always nag infront of him … he have no choice but to listen as he know his mother is so much more in pain than him … she have a very bad backache and yet still have to look after FIL … my MIL would not nag infront of his my hubby’s brother … (yes coz my MIL is da 2nd wife and my hubby is da only son she have) this add more pressure to my hubby … he love his mother very much.
This everyday argument have been like part of the daily life routine … sometimes in da middle of the nite i would hear my MIL shouting at my FIL … my hubby’s brother attitude towards this case is like “non of his “f****** business” yes sorry to say that … I can see and can feel it … when ask him to fetch FIL to see doctor her would say he have to work … no time … but whenever he got badminton session he can come home very early … aiya too sien with life already … or issit myself too “chup chiok”, too sensitive towards all this …
And after I give birth I will be staying at home for 2 months … I think I will gone nut soon everyday also hear the argument the scolding … I sure go nuts … my hubby tell me “u dun go nuts wo, or diagnose with any of those pregnancy blues la depression la” I tell him how can I prevent it wo if it comes, then it would comes right … but then I think I can cope it … wish me luck yeah …
I m very envy and jealous to those who dun have to stay with the PIL … how I wish I could move out soon …
I have been married for 4 years. My hubby is a loving, caring person, that in short I can say he is PERFECT hubby … for me la … he love me unconditionally, pamper me and spoilt me :P .After married, we move in to live with my hubby family, which consist of his brother’s family with 2 children, his sister whom already divorced, my mother in law and father in law and 2 maids … as at the time we could not afford to buy our own house and with da baby coming along we are better to save more for the baby expences …
So u can see how big da family is … at 1st can say no problem … coz that time I m to naive to know wat problem may arise … oh silly me … problem start to arise, well not to say problem la but then da true self or the true color of each family member is like slowly showing … they argue … yes they argue a lot and sometimes it got into very heated argument nearly fight … argue between my hubby’s brother with his wife, brother with sister, brother with mother in law, sister with mother in law … I was too shocked to say anything when this thing happen … in my mind was like I tot all this only happen in Tv drama (that’s y I say I m juz so naïve) but then it happen in real life n is infront of my eyes … all I ever did was grab my baby and run to my room and cry … I m too frightened, speechless … my hubby knew someday I would witness all this and he say sorry for bringing me into this and let me see all this incident … I m juz to afraid to say anything … but my hubby love towards me & my love for my hubby have somehow overcome the fear that I have inside me … for my hubby is my world … I cannot imagine my life without him …
As time goes by, I am now adapt well with the environment and knew wat should be done … should there be anything arise … I wanted to move out so much till to da extend that I even dreamt about it day and nite … I m goin cuckoo soon … with my 2nd princess on da way (very soon as I m already 35 weeks pregnant liao) we know that the room is juz to small to fit in all of us …
My hubby and myself wanted our very own house so much … we are now searching high n low for the suitable house … should we get a landed property or a condominium but … yes but we wont be moving in … if we were to move in also we will be bringing along MIL and FIL yes … then wat’s da point of moving out leh … no point right … we both know very well that we could not afford the living expences and this would be a burden for both of us … as FIL now is very sick and bedridden … every day my MIL would scold FIL. Till my hubby :( and sien with life … he have no mood to work and juz keep on thinking y is his family like this … where MIL always nag infront of him … he have no choice but to listen as he know his mother is so much more in pain than him … she have a very bad backache and yet still have to look after FIL … my MIL would not nag infront of his my hubby’s brother … (yes coz my MIL is da 2nd wife and my hubby is da only son she have) this add more pressure to my hubby … he love his mother very much.
This everyday argument have been like part of the daily life routine … sometimes in da middle of the nite i would hear my MIL shouting at my FIL … my hubby’s brother attitude towards this case is like “non of his “f****** business” yes sorry to say that … I can see and can feel it … when ask him to fetch FIL to see doctor her would say he have to work … no time … but whenever he got badminton session he can come home very early … aiya too sien with life already … or issit myself too “chup chiok”, too sensitive towards all this …
And after I give birth I will be staying at home for 2 months … I think I will gone nut soon everyday also hear the argument the scolding … I sure go nuts … my hubby tell me “u dun go nuts wo, or diagnose with any of those pregnancy blues la depression la” I tell him how can I prevent it wo if it comes, then it would comes right … but then I think I can cope it … wish me luck yeah …
I m very envy and jealous to those who dun have to stay with the PIL … how I wish I could move out soon …
3 comments:
open up your heart, my dear. everything happens for a reason. there's always good and bad to live with PIL... perhaps da good stuff can't be seen at all at this moment because da bad stuff somehow covered up da good stuff.. when you live in your own, you will have much more responsibility for your own little family.. you have to do everything on your own.. pay bills, take care of your kids, clean da house and etc... everyone dreams to have their own house... perhaps at this moment, time may not permit you to move out yet... you got to be patience and i am sure, you won't have to wait long.... joe 'san' definitely know what to do... he would not want to see one unhappy wife everyday.... as for now, you should only concentrate on your 2nd baby.... let da rest to be handled by joe 'san' and support him while you can... you don't have to feel envy towards couples that are not staying with their PIL.. you wouldn't know what other problems they have... in life, there's always ups and down and it's all depends on how you handle it and overcome it.... i am pretty sad to hear that you still feel so heartbroken inside towards joe 'san' family issue... something that's so hard to prevent it happening.. all i can say is that, whenever you have problems, i will be there for you.. and i hope that you will stand strong for yourself, for your hubby and for your kids cause a mother play an important role in a family...:)
Thank you darling ... i know patience is everything at the moment ... i understand well wat is going on and i follow ur advise to express my feeling out ... that's y i choose to write it down ... no worry yeah ... i m doin very good here ... infact i talk to joe and he understand me very well ... guess is da matter of time and we have to be patience lor ...
my dear.. i know how u feel and i hope everything will be ok soon.. no matter how far our distance is, iwill always be there for you.. so.. as u promised me b4, im 24/7 standby for u too!!!
*hugz*
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